Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Connecting and Disconnecting

The last post of my first NaBloPoMo fling.  I’m glad I’ve done it as it has given me the needed deadlines to create something and come up with writing beyond what was easy.   I had good intentions of doing a whole “Things That Amuse Me” theme but it morphed into the mood of the day, which is what blogging is about for me anyway. 

So my deep thought o’ the day today is whether the world is shrinking or growing in it’s connectedness.  DH is away on business to the other side of the world in an opposite culture to home.  It is far from here in so many ways.  Yet, this trip we are able to use Skype from time to time.  The video link makes it seem much less distant. We can see the faces in real time and laugh at the things we show each other.  ( It also shows too much detail – sleep deprivation, my messy office, etc., but it is still worth it.)  He is closer.

I met my future husband back in University in the early 90’s.  He went off to Kingston for his masters while I finished my degree in Toronto.  Long-distance dating was tough.  We were poor students and had to arrange phone calls at deep discount times.  Visits were rare and via economic transit or mooched from friends.  I sucked at writing letters but I have a few from those early days that warm my heart.  Communication may have been less frequent and high-tech but valued more.

Today there is another in our relationship – Mr. Blackberry.  Ever present and interrupting with mood altering crises of the day.  *sigh*  It seems now we have the means but not the time for connecting.  High speed communication devices are both a blessing and a curse, depending on whether they serve us or we, them.  Quick e-mails snatched at airports or between meetings are efficient but not warm.

Now we work on budgeting out time for each other.  Unscheduled free time or planned family outings, unconnected to the busy world at large are planned.  We breathe, do not fill the space with noise, just inch closer.  Our rituals evolve over time, taking advantage of the convenience of technology or the moments we have together.  Regardless of how it happens, making the time a priority weaves together our connection with a strength that only grows over the years.  Near and far, I am blessed.



  1. I like how you end NaBloPoMo with a bang - and a good question. I think the world is doing both - growing in connectiveness because I can skype my brother in Vancouver (having first brushed my hair) and FB my dad when he's in Texas for the winter so it feels like we are still in contact all the time. Shrinking because it can be too easy to replace real-time conversation with friends over coffee with a quick text and get used to that being "in touch". And letters are dying a slow death, which is a real shame. My dh and I spent 6 months apart 15 years ago, and those few letters have more meaning than 1000 texts that by now now would be long, long forgotten.

  2. congradulations on completing nablopomo. it's being great touching base virtually with you every day. this is a great post to complete it with. i wonder that if these hightech gadgets would have saved my last relationship which was long distance (france). probably not, but makes distance so much easier to bare, doesn't it.