Last month I slept in a tent in the back yard with my kids, because I promised them that fall camping with the Guides/Scouts was not so bad and we would prove it. That counts for at least 10 awesome points, right? Did I mention I even did a fake campfire with real stale marshmallows on the porch. And that was also the night that the neighbour decided to throw a drunken party on his porch so, yay! Wildlife too! I slept maybe 2 hours. Awesome.
I volunteered to help run this pumpkin auction thing to raise money for charity. I had fun with it last year but sickness, fatigue, technical issues and lack of help had me running ragged this year. *Sigh* It came, it went, money was raised and I toughed it out. Awesome.
That same weekend I got to go to Scout camp, luckily only for the day. I decided that I wasn't up for packing for the overnight and sleeping in freezing weather with a cold. It rained all day and we hiked. Owen only melted down twice but he liked it. Awesome.
There's a whole lot of effort that goes into the things we do for others sometimes. Sometimes it feels wonderful, like I am getting as much as I give for the time. And sometimes it sucks, I am drained and I wonder why I bother putting out the effort. There's no payment for this time and I don't get a badge. I do get the odd 'thank you' and hugs from the kids but it doesn't always cut it.
So I am getting better at taking time for myself to build up the "Awesome" reserve. Laughing with friends, seeing an amazing concert with my sister, hiking in the fall leaves and soaking at Le Nordik spa are among the things that I am feeling less guilty about doing. I need that time. It matters to me and helps bring balance. Feeling recharged - Awesome.