108 years old

So as I’m doing my usual 100-things-in-the-5-minutes-before-we-leave tornado this morning, I absently remark that today would have been my grandmother’s birthday.  Now I’ve done it.  I’ve said the b-word, initiating the usual birthday excitement that spins around here at the mention of the occasion. 

Laura wants to send her a present and Owen wants to know how old she is.  Except she passed away before either of them was born so no, we would not be sending a present.   I gently try to explain about how wonderful she was and how she had a full life and now is in heaven.  I foolishly started talking about memories I have of time I spent with her as a child. 

Crap.  Now Laura is so sad.  Not only is she realizing that those she love may die some day, she doesn’t get to have a birthday party today after all – both equally important to her right now.  And I guess she is realizing on some level that her precious time with her grandparents may not last forever.  Owen does math in his brain and figures out how old she would be and bounces away unfazed.  The difference between my sensitive girl and oblivious boy couldn’t be more apparent. 

I have no time for a deep discussion with a 6 year old on life, death and memories in this mad morning rush.  So I think we’ll have some sort of a party after school today anyway and I’ll find some books for later.  These are the moments it is hard to see them grow up.