Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Dark Side

No, seriously, there really is a dark side to me.... somewhere... hidden behind the "Sorry, my foot ran into your shopping cart" and the super-smiley face that won't turn off.  Oh, yes.  I have deep secret, nasty thoughts that come out from time to time.  Today, I will let you into my scary world of pet peeves

Laundry.  You seem innocent enough, but you mock me every time I go tackle a load.  The washer and dryer doors are backJune 2011 040wards.  Aaagggghhhhhhh!  Can you feel the seething hatred?  I have to unload into a basket, shift over the basket and then load up the dryer.  Oh, the time wastage!  And if I innocently think I can skip the basket, I lose a sock or something on my not so clean floor. Does it have to be washed again?  Do I throw caution to the wind and put it in the backwards dryer anyway?  Way too complicated.  I am not even going to discuss the great drama of unmatchable socks that come out of the dryer.  I swear I put both in!  I need a drink.

People who are too obsessed with cleanliness to enjoy life.  Too annoying to visit someone and have them apologize for the mess (a shoe not in the closet or something) while I have to wear my sunglasses indoors to protect my eyes from the gleam off the counter.  Arrggghhh!   Mess?!  You can't handle the mess, lady!  Even more annoying is when you are trying to have a real conversation and she is mopping the floor you just walked over.  Way too much effort.  If those unmatched socks don't meet up before sundown, I ain't panicking.  I'm just sayin' there are more important ways to spend your time.... like on the internet reading blogs... for ... hours....

Also, people who do not pick up after their dogs (Yuck! Enough said.), that drinking alcohol can make you gain weight (very unfair!), that the morning that you have a good hair day is also the day you get a zit on your nose and when people don't get my strange sense of humour.  I'm sure I could come up with some more pet peeves but my moment of darkness has passed.  Anyone care for some sunshine and lollipops?  (Just kidding!  I hope you are following this sense of humour thing or I'll add you to the p.p. list.)

Phew!  It feels SO much better to get that off my chest.  Like a weight has been lifted.  Stay tuned for the next voyage into darkness where I talk about times I've given people the evil eye.  (I'm still working on that.  Mostly people think I have a twitch or something without much fear entering their hearts.) 


  1. oh lady, you can come over and enjoy my mess any day. sounds like we will both be able to settle comfortably into our respective messes, and enjoy life (and a glass of wine, less calories).

  2. Oh the laundry....your machines are beautiful (if one can actually describe appliances as beautiful), however, those doors are wrong aren't they? Can the one be switched to the other side?

    As for the people who do not pick up after their dogs, that is one of my biggest peeves as well. A couple times a week on the walk to school I will see a HUGE pile and think how in the world did the owner not see that happen? It clearly took some time and effort. Is there not a bylaw?

  3. Oh yes, I remember clearly how we were approaching that woman who blatantly didn't pick up after her dog. I gave her the evil eye -- YOU said GOOD MORNING.

    Dark side my ass. You're even nice to assholes. Oops, maybe I should just shut up and count myself lucky.

  4. I'm too nice too. But I like myself that way. I like you that way too :).

    My biggest pet peeves are people who take the elevator instead of the escalator at the mall, pushing aside people with strollers, and paper jackets on hardcover books, which are ANNOYING.

    We had a similar problem with our washer and dryer and had the dryer door flipped. Unfortunately you can't have the washer door flipped but it's at least a 50% improvement.