Comparing and Perspective

It’s been an “aspie” weekend for Owen.  He has melted down about coming to dinner and changes in plans.  He is tired, he is hyper, he is unpredictable.  This is typical for him sometimes.  It is not fun but I get it. 

A wonderful long-time friend writes about her life and her child with special needs on her blog.  As a guest blogger, she wrote this entry this week.  It has sparked thought about my own boy, where he is now, what his future holds. 

The comparing started when Owen was just a baby.  We desperately need to connect with other new moms as we figure out this little being that doesn’t come with an owner’s manual.  Does your baby sleep through the night?  Not mine – put one in the fail column.  How many words does he speak?  Why isn’t he crawling yet? (fail and fail)  Crap.  I have a bad case of “comparititus” where I measure worth according to others.  What am I doing wrong?  Doctors reassure and I am comforted.  I make a choice to stop comparing and start focussing on my son’s world as it is for him.  He is happy (mostly) and thriving in his own way.  I let go the idea that he will ever be able to play on a team or drop in on a friend to play.  We organize alternative activities.

This comparing creeps up often over the years.  It is painful to see him with peers at times.  He is socially unable to connect rapidly enough to make conversation flow.  He is narrowly focused and it is hard to engage him in the interests of others.  He grows, learns and tries to adapt but his peer group outpaces him.  We are lucky enough to be in an area where he is protected from bullying and supported by his community.  He is also not highly aware of how different he is and for this I am thankful.

The future is scary when I dare to compare.  Will he live independently like his peers?  Will he be able to have relationships?  What kind of job will he be able to hold?  It is all far from typical.  I try to plan without comparing.  It is hard, but I am hopeful. 

His future will be not "typical" but I like to believe that the boundaries are largely unlimited.  The growing pains are the hard part and somehow we get through them.  When I think about what I hope for him, it is not that he be like everyone else but that he finds and thrives at things that he is passionate about.  Passion is something he has in abundance.  Some will be typical, some will be unusual, but all will come from the heart and be supported by those who love him. 

We interrupt the February blahs to bring you this

I’ve got some serious February-blah-itis going on here. It’s cold, I have no energy and my kid is home sick.  Bleck.  So what is a mom to do?  Surf the web for amusing videos of course.

First up is care of Andrea at A Peek Inside the Fishbowl.  Who knew animal names could be so musical?

Dogs and cats and…

Then there is the never-ending delight of Big Bang Theory.  I guarantee I will not be answering my phone to talk to my own mother when Big Bang is on.

Not the best video quality but I love the clips…

Ditto for Modern Family.  I try not to drink tea while watching lest it spurt out my nose.

Charades

Funny ads.  I am easily amused, you know.

:-)

And this still makes me laugh.  My kitty does this.  We go through a lot of ink just to play with the cat.  I need a life.

Meow!

OK, I feel better.  Let me know if you have any others I should watch.  I am always in need of amusement. 

Rolling with it

Or trying to anyway.  I have managed to do many things wrong this week. 

• I ate way too much cake making me feel gross and and gain back the 100 grams of weight I have been able to lose this year.  (Stupid cake raffle!)
• I managed to switch my contacts causing blurriness in one eye for three days before I clued in to my mistake. 
• I have been ignoring my son’s cough which sounded like a cat expelling fur balls and dismissing it as him doing it for entertainment.  Except now he is running a fever and there ain’t a walk-in clinic open or accepting anyone for miles.  How old does your child have to be to give him hot toddys?
• I made it a “camp mom” day on the Friday PD day and in a quest to entertain the kids got sucked into buying yet another build-a-bear (they are so darn cute!) and dealing with the meltdown when the fluffy friend went AWOL several times in the last 48 hours. 

So, to somehow salvage what is left of my sanity, today has been a great day for watching endless hours of Disney.  They deserve it, I deserve it.  May I return to being mom-of-the-year again tomorrow.

Let there be CAKE!

The school holds a cake raffle every year to raise money for school council.  Being the great school citizens that we are, and because I LOVE cake, I let my kids have ballots to pick a cake they like.  And knowing my kids, aiming to avoid meltdowns and having the spirit of awesome mom-ness flowing through me, I made an emergency back-up cake lest they freak out on Valentine’s day without sufficient sugar. So….

This is the cake I made to appease the pair when they didn’t win their favourite cake at school.

And this is the cake that Owen won with the family curse of good luck when it comes to contests. ( Mmmmm, cherry cheesecake.  Great choice, my boy!)

Still Laura did meltdown because she didn’t do the winning and it is not shaped like a ladybug.  I can’t win. There are limits to my mom awesome-ness you know.  Well, actually, I can win.  I get to eat two cakes now!

 

In which I feel so ridiculously positive that I even make myself gag.

This is definitely weird. Here it is a chilly February morning and I have some kind of strange "joie de vivre" thing going on. Why? I have no idea. Sure I have already had my 3 cups of coffee for the day before 9 am and I am a little giddy from lack of sleep due to my dear wee octopus daughter crawling into bed with me at annoying-o'clock but shouldn't that just make me feel moody? (And shouldn't poorly written run-on sentences make me a bit cranky too?) Where has all this positive energy come from?

When in doubt, analyze the heck out of it to suffocate any chance of it happening again. Here are the theories:

1. Someone slipped something into my PB and H toast this morning.
2. Kids were very cooperative and I think I didn't hear the word "no" once this morning.
3. I was blog-surfing before breakfast and came across this page which made me shift my perspective on my super Aspie kid.
4. The sun is shining and it isn't -30c and for some reason I want to spend time outside.
5. The planets have aligned in some unusual way and my cat is purring next to me.

Whatever. I'm going to lace up my skates and hit the canal today, all by myself, just for fun and at my own pace, before the planets shift and it all comes crashing down again.

Happy Thursday!

WW - Making new snowfriends

Meet Tina and Crystal. Laura is the one in the middle. The new friends are chillin' in our backyard. All very sweet except now I feel like I'm being watched through the kitchen window.

Handy Amusement

One of the best and cheapest travel amusements we have are our hands.  Ours talk and apparently have developed complex personalities.  My daughter loves this.  Even at 7 1/2 she adores conversations with talking digits. 

My parents were visiting this week and it became apparent where all this hand talk silliness came from.  Papa has two talking hands that resemble alligators named “Alli” and “Gate”.  They are always teaching the unsuspecting child something science-y and have a habit of finishing each other’s sentences.  Much giggles and accidental learning occurs.  I remember myself at Laura’s age drinking it all in and talking away with these hand-things.

Mine have been named Critter 1 & 2.  They get into mischief, tell bad jokes and often get mixed up.  (I’ll do anything for a cheap laugh.)  Laura is quite patient with them and tries to teach them things.  She squeezes them and washes them in the bath too.

My husbands hands are gators and they are always wanting to snack on things.  Laura is trying to get them to eat food not everything in the room.  Sports are challenging for these gators as they are always eating the balls. 

The most interesting pair for me are my son’s hands.  He doesn’t pull them out often but they have unique personalities.  One is deaf.  He doesn’t talk but will sometime sign something.  The other hand is shy and doesn’t say much but does translate for the deaf one.  I have no idea where these personalities come from.  Owen is neither versed in sign language nor shy like his characters but this is what he has chosen.

Laura’s hand characters are an adorable reflection of her.  Small and sweet, they love to cuddle, chatter about nothing in particular and sing off-key.  I love every minute of it, at least until my hands cramp up.