Farewell Isn't Fun

Last night we said farewell to a dear friend who is moving 3000 km away.  I don't know when or if I will see her again in person and it sucks.  I hate this kind of good bye.  There are other dear people to me who are also too far away, some who happen to be celebrating birthdays this week, and I don't know when or if I will be seeing them again either. Each one was such a significant part of my life at one time or another. I can't believe those times are only memories now. 


There is a hollowness that remains when we lose those we care about from our daily lives.  I usually can take it, fill it with distractions of the moment and the joys that are close at hand, but today it aches.  I feel sulky and I don't like missing people.  I want a transporter, or a way to go back in time to re-experience some of the wonderful times in my past with people I miss. 


You would think that by 40-something, I would be over this childishness.  For now, nostalgia is making me blue.  I know that it gets better, today is just a day and all that.  I wouldn't trade a single memory of times with these people to avoid the pain.  All these finished chapters are part of my life story.  It still sucks.  I want it all.